WE SET THE RULES
1. If you want anything to do with us, you need to understand and agree to our rules. If you don't, Far vel! (Hasta la vista in Old Norse)
2. Services and products are provided to residents of the United States and Canada by a Norwegian company (Organisasjonsnummer: 819 637 822), and to residents of the EEA (European Economic Area) and the rest of the world by a U.S. Corporation (Delaware State Registration: 5620509, Tax ID: 47-3285699, DUNS: 080184730). National, Federal, State as well as Tax Registration Information available on our Legal page.
3. Your participation in our training programs is at our discretion, and so is our providing of any service or product to you. In other words, we can decide not to provide you with training for any reason, or stop providing you training for any reason. We can also refuse to take you as a client, or to make tools and weapons for you, for any reason, including if we just don't like you. Money isn't everything for a Víkingr.
4. You are not entitled to any information whatsoever, and all information we want to be public is already on our web site. So, take a long look at the extensive content of our web sites. Any other information, may it be our dick size, life story, or organizational structures, will only be provided if we feel like it, and on a personal and case-by-case basis.
5. The information we provide publicly, on social media, on our web sites, and in our materials, is subject to OPSEC.
6. You are responsible for your injuries or medical emergencies. This means that you will have to pay for any potential evacuation or treatment. Not us. Dream on.
7. We’re off the hook if you get injured or even die. Even if it’s our fault. And even if we fucked up big time. Yep. You will sign a Liability Release and Assumption of Risk before you start any training program. This means you won't be able to sue us, or if you manage to, your claim will be eventually dismissed.
8. In case of dispute, we’ll settle it with a hólmganga. We’re serious (so make sure you check the hólmganga rules here). If you don't have the balls to do it, or don't want to follow hólmganga rules, then the laws of the country of formation of the company providing services to you based on your place of residence will apply, as per Section 2.
9. You don't like what we do, who we are, how we do things, our culture, our philosophy, our beliefs, or the fact with use a horned helmet as our symbol? Or you are skeptical, question our motives, or are suspicious? You think we're a fraud? LARPers? Just get off this site, and please, don't waste your time contacting us to whine about it. Whatever you think is your problem, not ours.
10. You must be 18 or older for all online courses, except Farmaðr training for which you must be 19 or older. You must be 18 or older for all field training, except Forgangsmaðr training for which you must be 19 or older. As of 01 January 2019, and in application of (Jómsvíkingalǫg, aka The Laws of the Jómsvíkingar), you must be no older than 50 to attend Hersir, Berserkr or Úlfheðinn training.
11. You must be medically, physically, and mentally fit in order to attend any field course, with much more stringent standards required in order to reach Berserkr status.
12. Thoughts, beliefs, and aspirations are not determined by genes. So you don't need to be white or of Norse descent to participate in any of our training programs, access any of our services or products, or to become a Víkingr, and ultimately one of us.
13. Sexual stigmatization is an Abrahamic thing, and we Víkingar have always been quite open minded when it comes to sex. Þórr, after all, was bisexual, and Loki turned himself into a mare to get boned by a stallion, eventually giving birth to Sleipnir, Óðinn's 8-legged horse. So, who you nail (dudes, gals, or both) is irrelevant to us. We do embrace masculinity, though, as well as core, primal, and traditional male traits and characteristics. Meaning we really don't like and reject any concept that would seek to feminize men, whether it is metrosexuality, gay lifestyle, feminism, or regressive liberalism.
14. You must be a biological male in order to become a Víkingr and one of us (the "shield maiden" thing is a myth), as per our ancestral, traditional and religious laws (Jómsvíkingalǫg, aka The Laws of the Jómsvíkingar). This means you must be a biological male to attend any training or activity that will grant you full status within Víkingaherr as a Hirðmaðr, Hersir, Berserkr or Úlfheðinn. As of 1 November 2018, the following restrictions also apply to all other courses and training: (A) You must be a biological male to attend Bardagamaðr, Forgangsmaðrand, Glíma, Hraunslækning, Lífa, and Skotfimi camps and courses. (B) You must be a biological male in order to attend any other course not listed in (A), subject to waivers in exceptional circumstances for biological females at our discretion. (C) The Lækning course and Hraunslækning camp are not open to residents of Iceland.
15. The following individuals are prohibited from attending any course, receiving any services, using any of our materials, and are further precluded from obtaining any status or rank within our organization: (A) Employees and members of Parks Canada (Canada), Lifelabs (Canada), Sussex Insurance (Canada), Yukon Wilderness Tourism Association (Canada), CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation), National Post (Canada), Western Financial Group (Canada), Dagbladet (Norway), Police des Chemins de Fer (France), Belgian Civilian Aviation Authority (Belgium), Mars Inc. (USA), and Government of Kazakhstan (Kazakhstan). (B) Current members of The Asatru Community (USA), Open Halls Project (USA), Holy Nation of Odin (USA), Odinsvolk (USA), Church of Odin (USA), DAESH/ISIS, Antifa, and Westboro Baptist Church (USA). (C) Any resident of a state subject to a U.S. embargo. (D) "E-citizens" of Estonia and related companies. (E) Any individual who falsely claims Berserkr or Úlfheðinn status, including but not limited to any such reference in any pseudonym. (F) Any individual or organization listed in the Official Níðingar Registry (ONR).
16. You are responsible for your own physical fitness as well. Not our problem if you cannot continue training because you’re out of shape. So, you better be fit, as in not fat like a dairy cow. Actually, for some courses, including Hersir and Berserkr, you need to be in exceptional shape.
17. There's no guarantee whatsoever that you'll pass any course or training. We don't embrace the concept of not exposing anybody to criticism as to not offend. You're retarded. We tell you. You get the skills, you pass. You don't get the skills, you don't pass. Simple.
18. We live by the Víkinga Code, established many centuries ago, and we expect you to do the same: Courage (Áræði) • Honor (Heiðr) • Strength (Styrkr) • Brotherhood (Bróðurleikr) • Loyalty (Einarðar) • Integrity (Dygðar) • Discipline (Agi) • Determination (Fastheldi) • Simplicity (Metnaðarleysi). You are expected to do the same if you want to reach and maintain a rank within this organization.
19. We also share Samvægja, or some common values. Probably a good idea if you are on the same page if you want to become one of us.
20. We hunt for food, typically herbivores such as ungulates, unless we really are desperate. We don't hunt for fun or trophy, neither do we normally hunt keystone species and apex predators, unless in self-defense or to protect ourselves. We never hunt wolves, sacred in Norse culture, nor brown (grizzly) or polar bears (unless in self-defense). Again, we never hunt wolves. If you are into hunting wolves, spare us the retarded logic (the very same ignorant bullshit used by Christians since the dark ages), and understand that hunting wolves is like hunting Úlfheðnar, and clearly incompatible with this organization.
21. Attending Hirðmaðr training does not guarantee graduation from the course or Hirðmaðr rank (and thus admittance into Víkingaherr). Same goes with any other level (from Hersir to Berserkr). Attending a course does not guarantee passing it and getting the associated rank.
23. As for you becoming a Úlfhéðinn, this is not something we waste time discussing until you are a Berserkr, or until we realize that you've got it in you. As a reminder, you cannot train to be a Úlfhéðinn. You are one by blood/genes, or you are not. Simple. If you a Úlfhéðinn, you may still not know about it based on your stage of development (undeveloped, partial, or fully developed).
24. Field training gets increasingly more hardcore with each higher level. So you can expect to be miserable, to be cold, to be in pain, to be bruised, to be sore, to bleed, and even to break things. Obviously, we don't want you to die, but it is nonetheless a risk. You can also expect to be brought to your mental and psychological limits, and also to possibly even break.
25. A great deal of secrecy is involved at any rank within the organization. As a matter of fact, oaths of secrecy are required at every step of the way. If you are the SEAL type who can't shut the fuck up and feel compelled to write books and shit, or just talk, we ain't the right organization for you.
26. The teachings of organized religions, and more specifically Asatru, are toxic and the greatest threat to our beliefs, culture, traditions, way of life and freedom since forced Christianization. Active involvement with any Asatru organization is therefore typically incompatible with becoming a part of our organization.
27. Breaking our Code is ground for removal from any course or activity, and Section 40 still applies. So, nope, you still aren't getting a refund for being a kunta after accessing our materials or wasting our resources.
28. The use of any communication or recording device (including cell phones) is not allowed during any training or activity, and is prohibited on any organization property. The taking of any photo, video or any other form of recording outside of manual paper notes is prohibited during any training, course, or activity.
29. No smoking (including e-crap) during any field training or expedition. You smoke, you’re out. Simple.
30. Recreational drug use (including marijuana) is not allowed during field training/courses or expeditions. You do any drug recreationally during any field training/course or expedition, you're out permanently. Simple. Furthermore, recreational drug use (including marijuana) is not allowed for 90 days prior to Hersir training, and 180 days prior to Berserkr training. In addition, recreational drug use (including marijuana) is not allowed at any time upon reaching Berserkir status. We’re Víkingar, not junkies. Notwithstanding the above, chronic recreational drug use may disqualify you from any field training/courses or expeditions.
31. If you have ever broken an oath, if you refer to yourself as a warrior, or worse, a Úlfheðinn, just because you played some video games sitting on your fat ass, if you have stolen from us (including copyrighted materials), or if you generally do not act like a man, you are deemed to be a níðingr, whether or not formally and officially designated as such by a þing. As a níðingr, you are forbidden from using any of our products, services, and materials, and you are further forbidden from participating in any of our courses or training camps. As a níðingr, you are also banned from our properties and web sites.
32. Beards are certainly encouraged in order to provide you with natural protection against the elements, and in line with Norse culture and traditions. However, long hair below the neck, and/or dreads, are not allowed during any field training or expedition. This is due to safety, hygiene and predator control considerations. Similarly, face, ear, beard and facial jewelry (including piercings) are not allowed during any field training over safety considerations.
33. The bread we eat contains gluten (rightly so), and the milk we drink, lactose. Milk without lactose is heresy, and we Víkingar settled the word fueled by lactose. We also eat meat, fish and other animal products because that's what our species has evolved for. So, we won't fulfill special meal requirements, as this would be an offense to the Æsir and our people.
34. The personal information you either voluntarily provide or is normally made available to us through open source may be checked against various intelligence databases, internal or external, in various countries, for risk assessment purposes, and to decide whether we are willing to provide you services or to associate with you. Such information may also be used to profile you in order to optimize your training or to successfully match you with another bro or tribe. In the event we see you as a threat or a risk, we may gather and store more information about you, from any source or through any method we deem necessary under the circumstances and at our sole discretion, with or without your knowledge or consent, and use such information to protect ourselves and our own as required.
35. All information about you is stored in Ísland (Iceland) and Nóregr (Norway), beyond the reach of what is increasingly becoming anarcho-tyrannical states, including U.S., Canadian, Australian, British, and European courts. We do not share information about you with any third party, unless you have been identified as a threat or security risk. For additional privacy and security, we also give you the option to communicate with us via secure means. In which case, data is not only stored encrypted in Switzerland, but also typically destroyed within a few days. See our contact page for secure communication information.
36. If you are a female residing in certain areas, including but not limited to British Columbia, Oregon, California and southern Sweden, any interaction with any of us may be recorded with a body cam or similar device, for the sole purpose of protecting ourselves from false claims of abuse, harassment, or assault.
37. If we provide you with an organizational Google account, all the personal information and data about you associated with that email as well as related apps and services, including Google+, is owned by us rather than Google. Notwithstanding sections 34 and 35, we shall not use, monitor, analyze, share or otherwise exploit such information.
38. If we provide you with an organizational Google account, any data with respect to your communications will be retained on servers as follow, before being completely and permanently deleted from all servers with no possibility of access or recovery: (A) Emails you delete: 25 days. (B) Chats in Hangouts: 24 hours. (C) G+ Community posts you delete: no retention.
39. We may take any step we reasonably deem necessary in order to ensure our security as well as yours, including but not limited to the security of our organization, countries, assets, infrastructure, communications, and people, with or without prior notice of disclosure.
40. In the event we provide you with an organizational Google account, we may require your compliance with various security policies, including but not limited to two-step authentication, minimum password requirements, automatic erasing of your mobile device in the event a password is entered incorrectly a given number of time, or remote wiping of your device if we reasonably believed that it has been compromised.
41. We may temporarily remotely deactivate any camera or other recording application or capabilities on your device prior to, or upon entering any of our properties or compounds, or prior to, or upon interacting with any of our Berserkir or Úlfhéðnar, with or without prior notice to you, and with our without approval from you.
42. All prices in U.S. currency unless stated otherwise. We accept payment in silver. We can also take gold if you really insist. Other options are credit card, PayPal, Norwegian Kroner (NOK), Euros (EUR), and U.S. dollars (USD). Of course, being Víkingar, we may also take trades for stuff valuable to us.
43. We also accept country-specific payments. (A) United States: Zelle payments to firstname.lastname@example.org, as well as payments to our Bank of America account. (B) Canada: Interac Email Transfer payments to email@example.com, as well as payments to our Royal Bank of Canada account. (C) Norway: Vipps payments to #532017, as well as payments to our DNB account.
44. If you're military (or ex-military), you get a 15% discount on anything we sell directly from our site. This applies to your dependents as well (sorry, you can only have one wife), but not your þrælar. Use coupon code FSKROCKS (FSK is Forsvarets Spesialkommando, aka, Norwegian special forces/commandos, aka the best of the best, duh!)
45. If we have agreed to defer payment for any course, you must settle your account within 2 years, unless another date has been mutually agreed upon. If you are on Active Duty and combat or medical circumstances prevent you from settling your account as agreed, you must notify us immediately to make alternative binding arrangements. If you fail to settle your account as agreed, you will be deemed to have failed a commitment, and to have therefore violated the Víkinga Code. As a result, you will be permanently excluded from the course and organization, and you may be subjected to collection proceedings as well as credit reporting.
46. Speaking of money... Most of our training camps are free. But we still charge for some other stuff, which, apparently, is a problem for some people. If you think, somehow, that we are going to spend our time, resources, and sweat, without any consideration whatsoever, for the benefit of some self-centered entitled little helvítis kunta, you are crazy. You are, however, still free to act on your own philosophy by applying to become one of our þrælar (slaves). Contact us for more information!
47. Money still... If you don't want to cough up some silver for the very few things we charge for, obviously, it ain't happening. On the other hand, if you just cannot come up with the dough, we may be able to help. Note, however, that you better have a very good damn excuse for being that broke. You also better be super fit, as every pound of extra fat you may be carrying cost you over $10.
48. In the event we have provided you with a course at no charge based on exceptional circumstances, you must demonstrate reasonable progress within 6 months. If you fail to demonstrate reasonable progress, you will be removed from the course.
49. We do not issue refunds, unless it is our error, because once a transaction is completed, the payment processor will not refund us any processing fees. Yes, this means we will be out some silver. So, instead, we may issue credits in some circumstances, as follow: (A) Courses, services, digital products, gift cards, and custom-made tools and products: No cancellations and no credit. (B) Other products: May be returned, at your expense, subject to pre-approval, for a credit (less shipping charges). (C) Duplicate transactions, transactions in error, incorrect products: Credit for future use. (Angreskjema ved kjøp av varer og tjenester som ikke er finansielle tjenester)
50. We don't ship stuff, as applicable, on our own skeiðar (long ships). We use instead third party postal services, and ship by air or surface depending on items and country of destination. This means we have no control whatsoever over how long it takes for the postal services of your country, or our owns for that matter, to get anything to you. Delivery may therefore take anytime between a few days and up to 12 weeks.
51. Orders are shipped from Norway, Canada, or the United States, depending on items, stock, and country of destination.
COUNTRIES OF ORIGIN
52. Everything we sell is made in Norway, Iceland, Finland, Sweden, Denmark, Canada and the United States, with materials and shit from Norway, Iceland, the Faroe Islands, Finland, Sweden, Greenland, Canada and the United States.
USING OUR SHIT
53. We grant you a limited license to use all materials and concepts provided in training, courses, camps, as well as on this web site and any related web site, for your sole personal and honorable use (Subject to Section 14 and other applicable sections). Any commercial use or any dishonorable use (like falsely claiming to be a Pagan to get a shaving exemption in the service) is subjected to current copyright legislation and more specifically our copyright policy. Namely, under U.S. law (Digital Millennium Copyright Act), you may face up to 5 years in jail, and $500,000 fine for illegally using our content and materials. Under European legislation (Directive 2004/48/EC of the European Parliament and of the Council of 29 April 2004 on the enforcement of intellectual property rights), that's up to 6 years in jail, and up to € 60 000 fine, depending on your country of residence. In Canada, you won't go to jail, but you'll still have to cough up $5,000 per violation.
54. You are only allowed to use our symbols and (registered) trademarks once you reach a rank within the organization, subject to specific conditions, as applicable, as well as honorable use.
55. You may still die in the wilderness, or anywhere else for that matter, even after you have completed training or hired us for your protection. No matter how involved and advanced a training program is, or how good we are at what we're doing, it will not guarantee that you will survive in the wilderness, or anywhere else for that matter, no matter what. More than training is at play here, including what you're made of, and your natural level of retardation (we all have one).
56. As a reminder, only way to get to Valhöll is to be one of the best warriors who ever walked on earth, and to die honorably in combat. Even though, this is not a guarantee as half of such warriors will end up in Fólkvangr (maybe it's based on whether you're more into guys and prefer to hang out with Óðinn, or you're more into chicks and prefer to hang out with Freyja). So, no, getting involved with NORSKK ain't no ticket to Valhöll!
57. Understand there never was such a thing as female Viking "warriors". The "shield-maiden" thing is just a myth. No amount of revisionist feminist and regressive liberal propaganda will change facts and history. This is an important point that goes beyond opinions and people's critical thinking abilities. A "man" who sees women as equal to him in combat is effectively advertising his own shortcomings, and ultimately his inadequacy as a man.
58. Similarly, males and females are biologically different. Again, no emotion-based wishful thinking from a feminized society can change scientific facts and hundreds of thousands of years of evolution.
59. Those "Asatruars" who feel they know shit about our culture should remember Stanza 6 of the Hávamál, or sayings such as "Engi her allheimskr ef þegja má". In other words, don't argue with us about Norse stuff. Your knowledge (inherently limited by not speaking the language or not having historical and cultural context) is likely no match to the combined brain power, culture, knowledge, skills, etc... of all of us here. If you still feel compelled to argue, because eh, everyone on the internet is an expert, we will just delete your comments, and if you keep going at it, we will just block you. We don't owe you fuck all, our pages are not forums for you to exist by talking non-sense, and we don't have time to deal with this shit. It ain't a matter of us being offended, but instead, a matter of us allocating our time on Miðgarðr wisely. The same applies to other matters we have expertise in, including but not limited to the military.
60. Similarly, commenting, debating, and arguing on our web sites, blogs, news stories, and social media is not a right, but a privilege, which we may revoke at any time and for any reason (including, yes, if you cause us aggravation). Additionally, if you engage us, we may elect to respond accordingly, and at our discretion.
61. Should you elect to slander us, as in making derogatory public statements against us with no factual basis, we reserve the right, without further notice to you, to seek and collect a minimum of $1,000 in damages per slandering statement. Actions do have consequences.
62. Offended by anything we post of publish? Jesus Christ (we love to invoke the name of the "lord" in vain, because we heard it would get us to hell, which sounds more exciting and much less dreadful than some heaven surrounded by "good" christians)! What does it feel like to be so weak that you are offended by mere words?!? Anyway, blame your parents for raising a pussy, not us, and just move on! If you are too offended to move on, you can first transition to a safe space at http://norskk.com/safe-space.
Updated 26 November 2018