1. If you want anything to do with us, you need to understand and agree to our rules. If you don't, Far vel! (Hasta la vista in Old Norse)
2. We live by the Víkinga Code and we expect you to do the same: Courage (Áræði) • Honor (Heiðr) • Strength (Styrkr) • Brotherhood (Bróðurleikr) • Loyalty (Einarðar) • Integrity (Dygðar) • Discipline (Agi) • Determination (Fastheldi) • Simplicity (Metnaðarleysi)
3. Yes, we use a helmet as our symbol. Before you claim it is historically incorrect, check out our logic for doing so. If you still think it's wrong after reading that, get a life.
4. We also use Old Norse terms a lot... You may have noticed we typically only use the nominative case... Ain't you the smart one... Well, this is because declensions are just too complicated for the average dude, and we don't want people to be hung up on why on earth we used up to 16 different spellings of the same word!
5. Now, the fun stuff. No cancellations and no refunds for courses, services, digital products, and custom-made tools. We Víkingar have better things to do than push paper and deal with bankers (we don’t like bankers). We, however, offer a money back guarantee on viking care products because the bank forces us to (see, we don't like banks, and we had a mega party when Iceland sent a bunch of our bankers to jail for a few years).
6. We don't ship stuff, as applicable, on our own drakkars. We use instead third party postal services, and ship by air or surface depending on items and country of destination. This means we have no control whatsoever over how long it takes for the postal services of your country, or our owns for that matter, to get anything to you. Delivery may therefore take anytime between a few days and up to 12 weeks.
7. You must be 16 or older for online training, except Farmaðr training for which you must be 19 or older. You must be 18 or older for all field training, except Forgangsmaðr training for which you must be 19 or older.
8. Your participation in our training programs is at our discretion, and so is our providing of any service or product to you. In other words, we can decide not to provide you with training for any reason, or stop providing you training for any reason. We can also refuse to take you as a client, or to make tools and weapons for you, for any reason, including if we just don't like you. Money isn't everything for a Víkingr.
9. You must be a biological male in order to become a Víkingr (the "shield maiden" thing is a myth), and therefore, to attend any training or activity that will grant you full status within our organization as a Hirðmaðr, Hersir, Berserkr or Úlfheðinn (Lagacé rule).
10. You must be a biological male to attend Glíma camps.
11. You must be a biological female to attend Norðkona courses.
12. You can be either a biological male or a biological female in order to attend any other course not listed in (9), (10), or (11).
13. All materials and concepts provided in training, courses, and camps, are solely for your personal use, and cannot be used under any circumstance for commercial purposes, or any purpose that isn't strictly personal. All materials are also subjected to our copyright policy.
14. The following individuals and/or organizations are prohibited from attending any course and receiving any services: (A) Canadian municipal, provincial, territorial, and federal government agencies as institutions, understanding that this restriction does not apply to individual employees wishing to take courses privately. (B) The following organizations and their current or former employees specifically: Vancouver Police Department (Canada), Saanich Police Department (Canada), Parks Canada, Lifelabs (Canada), Sussex Insurance (Canada), any member of the Yukon Wilderness Tourism Association (Canada), the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation), the National Post (Canada), Dagbladet (Norway), Police des Chemins de Fer (France), DCRG (France, now defunct), Belgian Civilian Aviation Authority, Government of Kazakhstan, and the Westboro Baptist Church (USA). (C) Any individual or organization listed in the Official Níðingar Registry (ONR).
15. We Víkingar also know better than anybody that it required some damn good women to settle Ísland. So, if you are a woman, subject to restrictions outline in (12), you are welcome besides us, and you are free to attend any online course, as well as any training or activity excluding Hirðmaðr, Hersir, Berserkr and Úlfheðinn stuff, as well as Glíma camps. This is subject to you understanding a few things, though: We are pretty much a warrior organization so we may be a bit rough around the edges. We've got a nut sack, we're proud of it, and we want to keep it. There are worst things in the world than the word "kunta" (somehow, we don't think we need to translate). Finally, you are not a victim. Yeah, this should sum it up.
16. Thoughts, beliefs, and aspirations are not determined by genes. So you don't need to be white or of Norse descent to participate in any of our training programs, access any of our services or products, or to become a Víkingr, and ultimately one of us.
17. Sexual stigmatization is an Abrahamic thing, and we Víkingar have always been quite open minded when it comes to sex. Þórr, after all, was bisexual, and Loki turned himself into a mare to get boned by a stallion, eventually giving birth to Sleipnir, Óðinn's 8-legged horse. So, who you nail (dudes, gals, or both) is irrelevant to us.
18. We do embrace masculinity, though, as well as core, primal, and traditional male traits and characteristics. Meaning we really don't like and reject any concept that would seek to feminize men, whether it is metrosexuality, gay lifestyle, neofeminism, or regressive liberalism.
19. You are free to believe in whatever god(s) (if any) you wish. Just don't impose your beliefs onto us. Plus, if you believe in some middle eastern guy (you probably now wouldn't sit next to on a plane) who walked on water and turned blood into wine (we have to admit we would have been more receptive to the idea had it been mead), don't slam us because we believe in Óðinn and Þórr, or our vision of them. And note that every time a christian or muslim prays for us, or blesses us, we are forced to sacrifice a (christian) virgin. Thinking about it, a Folkish virgin can do as well. The whiter, the better.
20. Field training gets increasingly more hardcore with each higher level. So you can expect to be miserable, to be cold, to be in pain, to be bruised, to be sore, to bleed, and even to break things. Obviously, we don't want you to die, but it is nonetheless a risk. You can also expect to be brought to your mental and psychological limits, and also to possibly even break.
21. Although we do not associate with any other "Ásatrú", "Odinist", or Forn Siðr groups or associations at the organizational level, members of such groups are welcome at NØRSKK, subject to the rest of our rules, compatibility, suitability, and of course, whether or not we like them.
22. The bread we eat contains gluten (rightly so), and the milk we drink, lactose. Milk without lactose is heresy, and we Víkingar settled the word fueled by lactose. So, we won't fulfill special meal requirements, as this would be an offense to our gods and our people.
23. No smoking (including e-crap) and no drugs during any field training or expedition. You smoke or do any drugs (including weed), you’re out. Simple. We’re Víkingar, not junkies.
24. Beards are certainly encouraged in order to provide you with natural protection against the elements, and in line with Norse culture and traditions. However, long hair below the neck, and/or dreads, are not allowed during any field training or expedition. This is due to safety, hygiene and predator control considerations. Similarly, face, ear, beard and facial jewelry (including piercings) are not allowed during any field training over safety considerations.
25. You are responsible for your injuries or medical emergencies. This means that you will have to pay for any potential evacuation or treatment. Not us. Dream on.
26. You are responsible for your own physical fitness as well. Not our problem if you cannot continue training because you’re out of shape. So, you better be fit (as in not fat like a dairy cow).
27. We’re off the hook if you get injured or even die. Even if it’s our fault. And even if we fucked up big time. Yep. You will sign a Liability Release and Assumption of Risk before you start any training program.
28. There's no guarantee whatsoever that you'll pass any course or training. We don't embrace the concept of not exposing anybody to criticism as to not offend. You're retarded. We tell you. You get the skills, you pass. You don't get the skills, you don't pass. Simple.
29. We decide if you're Berserkr materials during Hersir training. If you are, we will train you for free to make you one of us. If you aren't, no amount of silver will make us train you. As for you becoming a Úlfhéðinn, this is not something we waste time discussing until you are a Berserkr, and until we think you've got what it takes.
30. You may still die in the wilderness, even after you have completed training. No matter how involved and advanced a training program is, it will not guarantee that you will survive in the wilderness, no matter what. More than training is at play here, including the will of the Norse gods.
31. As a reminder, only way to get to Valhöll is to die honorably in combat. Even though, this is not a guarantee as half of such warriors will end up in Fólkvangr (maybe it's based on whether you're more into guys and prefer to hang out with Óðinn, or you're more into chicks and prefer to hang out with Freyja). So, no, getting involved with NØRSKK ain't no ticket to Valhöll!
32. All prices in U.S. currency. We accept payment in silver. We can also take gold if you really insist. Other options are Norwegian Kroner (NOK), Icelandic Krónur (ISK), Euros (EUR), and U.S. dollars (USD). Of course, being Víkingar, we'll also take trades for stuff valuable to us.
33. If you're military (or ex-military), you get a 15% discount on anything we sell directly from our site. This applies to your dependents as well (sorry, you can only have one wife). Use coupon code FSKROCKS (FSK is Forsvarets Spesialkommando, aka, Norwegian special forces/commandos, aka the best of the best, duh!)
34. Speaking of money... Most of our training camps are free. But we still charge for some other stuff, which, apparently, is a problem for some people. If you think, somehow, that we are going to spend our time, resources, and sweat, without any consideration whatsoever, for the benefit of some self-centered entitled little helvítis kunta, you are crazy. You are, however, still free to act on your own philosophy by applying to become one of our þrælar (slaves). Contact us for more information!
35. Money still... If you don't want to cough up some silver for the very few things we charge for, obviously, it ain't happening. On the other hand, if you just cannot come up with the dough, we may be able to help. Note, however, that you better have a very good damn excuse for being that broke. You also better be super fit, as every pound of extra fat you may be carrying cost you over $10.
36. The personal information you either voluntarily provide or is normally made available to us may be checked against various intelligence databases, internal or external, in various countries, for risk assessment purposes, and to decide whether we are willing to provide you services or to associate with you. Such information may also be used to profile you in order to optimize your training or to successfully match you with another bro or tribe. In the event we see you as a threat or a risk, we may gather more information about you, from any source or through any method we deem necessary under the circumstances and at our sole discretion, with or without your knowledge or consent, and use such information to protect ourselves and our own as required.
37. All information about you is stored in Ísland (Iceland) and Nóregr (Norway), beyond the reach of many government tyrannies, including U.S., Canadian, Australian, British, and European courts. For additional privacy and security, we also give you the option to communicate with us via secure means. In which case, data is not only stored encrypted in Switzerland, but also typically destroyed within a few days. See our contact page for secure communication information.
38. In case of dispute, we’ll settle it with a hólmganga. We’re serious (so make sure you check the hólmganga rules here). If you manage to get a court order or something to prevent us from doing so, then the laws of Ísland (Iceland) or Nóregr (Norway) will apply.
39. If you have ever broken an oath, if you refer to yourself as a warrior, or worse, a Úlfheðinn, just because you played some video games sitting on your fat ass, if you have stolen from us (including copyrighted materials), or if you generally do not act like a man, you are deemed to be a níðingr, whether or not formally and officially designated as such by a þing. As a níðingr, you are forbidden from using any of our products, services, and materials, and you are further forbidden from participating in any of our courses or training camps. As a níðingr, you are also banned from our properties and web sites.
40. Breaking our Code is ground for removal from any course or activity, and Section 5 still applies. So, nope, you still aren't getting a refund for being a kunta after accessing all our resources and materials.
41. Those "heathens" who feel they know shit about our culture should remember Stanza 6 of the Hávamál, or sayings such as "Engi her allheimskr ef þegja má". In other words, don't argue with us online about Norse stuff. Your knowledge (inherently limited by not speaking the language or not having historical and cultural context) is likely no match to the combined brain power, culture, knowledge, skills, etc... of all of us here. If you still feel compelled to argue, because eh, everyone on the internet is an expert, we will just delete your comments, and if you keep going at it, we will just block you. We don't owe you fuck all, our pages are not forums for you to exist by talking non-sense, and we don't have time to deal with this shit. It ain't a matter of us being offended, but instead, a matter of us allocating our time on Miðgarðr wisely.
42. Similarly, commenting, debating, and arguing on our web sites, blogs, news stories, and social media is not a right, but a privilege, which we may revoke at any time and for any reason (including, yes, if you cause us aggravation). Additionally, if you engage us, we may elect to respond accordingly, and at our discretion.
43. Offended by anything we post of publish? Jesus Christ (we love to invoke the name of the "lord" in vain, because we heard it would get us to hell, which sounds more exciting and much less dreadful than some heaven surrounded by "good" christians)! What does it feel like to be so weak that you are offended by mere words?!? Anyway, blame your parents for raising a pussy, not us, and just move on! If you are too offended to move on, you can first transition to a safe space at http://norskk.com/safe-space.
44. You are not entitled to any information whasteoever, and all information we want to be public is already on our web site. Any other information, may it be our dick size, life story, or organizational structures, will only be provided if we feel like it, and on a personal and case-by-case basis.
45. You don't like what we do, who we are, how we do things, our culture, our philosophy, our beliefs, etc..? Or you are skeptical, question our motives, or are suspicious? Just get off this site, and please, don't waste your time contacting us to whine about it. Whatever you think is your problem, not ours.
Updated 21 August 2017